


plant your love in me

by moldylemons



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Baking, Blow Jobs, Come Eating, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 18:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12990057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moldylemons/pseuds/moldylemons
Summary: Dylan is just loading his bag into the back of his car when he gets a text from Mitch.aka "the jizz cookie fic"





	plant your love in me

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title: #DicksOutForCookies
> 
> additional notes that i don't know how to tag?
> 
> -it's only technically come eating because the come is in the cookies, and they eat the cookies

Dylan is just loading his bag into the back of his car when he gets a text from Mitch.

 

Mitch:  _ hey i just found a bomb cookie recipe, can u hit the store before u get here???? _

 

Dyan sighs and closes the door, leaning against it as he texts back.

 

Dylan:  _ i regret ever telling u that i bake. what do u need? _

Mitch:  _ thanks ur the best _ __

Mitch:  _ also, i need like,,,,,,,,,everything lol _

Mitch:  _ except flour??? i think i still have flour frm that time u made pancakes _

Mitch:  _ OH and i have eggs _

Mitch:  _ i have so many eggs dude _

Mitch:  _ gotta get them gainzzzzz _

 

Dylan sends back a couple thumbs up emojis and climbs into his car, already making a mental list of what he’s going to need to buy for Mitch’s cookie craving adventure. The ingredients that Mitch sent while Dylan was driving seemed like a pretty basic sugar cookie, so Dylan isn’t too sure what’s gonna be so special about it, but he figures Mitch is just excited about sugar. While Dylan is putting a bag of sugar into the basket, another text comes through from Mitch.

 

Mitch:  _ can we put chocolate chips in them? _

 

Dylan:  _ i’m p sure u can put choc chips in anything tbh _

 

Dylan huffs a laugh and heads to the end of the aisle to grab a bag of chocolate chips and throw them in with everything else, heading to the checkout line. Once he heads back out to his car, he texts Mitch a quick ETA and then tries to focus on having the rest of the day off to spend with Mitch. If he maybe speeds a bit on the way there, then nobody has to know but him, right?

Mitch usually leave his door unlocked when Dylan is on his way over, so Dylan walks right in and heads to the kitchen to spread out his haul. He’s surprised to see Mitch already in the kitchen, dancing around to the music playing on the speakers while pulling out a mixing bowl, and Dylan slides up behind him, placing his hands on Mitch’s hips and leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

 

“Hey, babe,” Mitch greets, leaning back into Dylan’s chest. “I already started the oven. Are you ready to make the greatest cookies in the history of cookies?”

 

“Okay, first of all,” Dylan replies, laughing, “I don’t know if these are going to be  _ the greatest cookies in the history of cookies _  because based on the ingredients you sent these basically just look like sugar cookies, and nothing will ever top those generic grocery store frosted cookies. And second, what is gonna make these cookies so great, anyway?”

 

Mitch’s returning smile turns wicked as he turns around to face Dylan. “Well,” he answers, “one of the guys was talking about this cookbook that he saw when he was in some second-hand bookstore with his girlfriend this summer, and apparently it’s a whole book of jizz recipes.  _ Natural Harvest _  or something. So I looked it up, and there was this cookie recipe in there, and I remembered that you bake, so I thought it would be something easy to try with you while you’re here this weekend.”

 

“So you sent me to the store for cookie supplies because, what?” Dylan says, surprised. “You thought that jizz cookies would be fun?”

  
“Okay, well I’ve been craving cookies all day, anyway,” Mitch shrugs, “plus, maybe I just wanna suck you off. Best of both worlds, right?”

 

Dylan laughs, “what are you even gonna do with them?”

 

“Eat them, duh,” Mitch says, like it’s some kind of no-brainer. “It's like swallowing, but with more carbs to back up the extra protein. It's basically a perfect post-workout snack”

 

“Did you even work out today to need a post-workout snack?” Dylan continues laughing, “or were you expecting another kind of workout?”

  
“I like to keep my options open,” Mitch says with a wink. “Now are we gonna do this, or are you just gonna leave me here with all this sugar to figure it out myself?” Mitch reaches forward to cup Dylan through his pants, whispering “you know how bad those muffins turned out last time,” against his lips.

 

Dylan closes the distance between them, licking into Mitch’s mouth and slipping a hand under his shirt to rest across his ribs. Mitch rubs a bit at Dylan’s front before pulling away.

 

“Okay,” Dylan says, “yeah fine. For the sake of your kitchen. Let’s make some fucking jizz cookies.”

 

Dylan steps back to the counter to grab the mixing bowl and the first few ingredients to start creaming the butter and sugar, with the awkward added space for giving Mitch the room to kneel between him and the counter as he unzips Dylan’s pants, pulling out his already hardening dick and giving it a few strokes before taking him in his mouth.

Mitch bobs his head a few times, looking up when he runs his tongue along the head and Dylan drops the spoon loudly into the bowl and grips the side of the counter so his knees don’t buckle. Mitch smirks about as well as he can with a dick in his mouth and then goes right back to work while Dylan white-knuckles the counter and lets out a loud groan.

Mitch takes that as about as much encouragement as he’s going to get, and goes right the fuck to town, just slurpin away. After a bit, Mitch realises that Dylan has given up on mixing cookie dough for the moment, Mitch gently pushes Dylan backwards by the hips until he’s pressed against the counter behind him.

Once his hips hit the counter, Dylan pushes forward into Mitch’s mouth, moaning as he feels the head of his cock run against the roof of Mitch’s mouth. Dylan takes a chance to look down at Mitch, and Mitch glances up, moving one had from Dylan’s hip to stroke him as he pulls off.

 

“Hey, do you think it’ll still work alright if there’s spit in it too?” Mitch asks, grinning.

 

“You know,” Dylan responds, a little out of breath, “I seriously regret letting you talk me into this.”

 

Mitch smiles even wider, then licks a stripe up the underside of Dylan’s cock before taking just the head in his mouth and sucking, running his tongue around the sensitive crown. As he sucks harder, Dylan tenses and throws his head back and whacks it on the cabinet behind him. Mitch leans forward, laughing,  and then starts choking on Dylan’s dick and has to pull off so he can cough.

 

“Dude,” Dylan starts, “what in the actual fuck?”

 

“Babe,” Mitch chokes out between coughs, “I thought you weren’t even into the jizz cookie idea, why do you heff to be mad?”

 

“Because you were sucking my dick and now you’re laughing at me!” Dylan replies. “Just let me be bitter so you can stop coughing and not die. I don’t want to explain to the Leafs that you died because you were trying to make jizz cookies and choked on my dick. I don’t think they’d appreciate it very much.”

 

“Just stick your cock back in my mouth already,” Mitch says back, already leaning back in.

 

Mitch grabs Dylan again and starts slowly jerking him off, scooting forward again so that he can wrap his mouth around Dylan.

 

“God,” Dylan starts, breath hitching as Mitch starts sucking, “I hate you so much right now.”   
  


“Do you really?” Mitch asks, pulling off and running his his tongue along Dylan’s length and making him shudder.

 

“Y-yeah,” Dylan stutters,  “because you had to- oh fuck, okay,  no I don’t hate you, please just keep going and I’ll make your fucking cookies.”

 

Mitch smiles again before taking Dylan back in his mouth and getting back into a rhythm, and it’s all Dylan can do to just sit back and let him go at it. Dylan pulls up a hand to the back of Mitch’s neck, running his fingers through the short hairs at the back while his other hand grips the edge of the counter. After a minute, Dylan moves his other hand to the back of Mitch’s head.

 

“Babe, I’m almost-” Dylan pants out, “I’m gonna come.” Mitch only responds by looking up at Dylan through his eyelashes, and then going right back down with a renewed energy, humming in satisfaction when Dylan moves his hands up to tangle in Mitch’s hair, tensing up. Mitch opens his mouth as Dylan starts coming, making sure he gets as much come in his mouth as he can before standing up to grab the mixing bowl next to Dylan and spit into it. Once he finishes spitting, Dylan pulls Mitch back into a kiss, tasting himself in Mitch’s mouth before pulling back.

 

“Now,” Dylan asks, “how soon exactly did you want these cookies?”

 

“I definitely want them soon enough that I’m not gonna let you blow me until these are in the oven,” Mitch replies, already stepping back to start measuring out flour. “And I definitely suggest that you help because I will fuck these up, otherwise.”

 

Dylan laughs and pulls the measuring cup out of Mitch’s hand. “Maybe by the time these are out of the oven I can do more than just blow you.”

 

“Mmm,” Mitch says, bumping his hip against Dylan’s, “yeah, you could.”

 

Dylan looks at Mitch and smiles before cracking eggs into the bowl one by one, mixing everything together before adding the rest of the ingredients, letting Mitch get excited over how his post-workout snack had now turned into fuel for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> -no beta'd! all mistakes are my own
> 
> -a special thanks to the gay chat for listening to me screaming about this fic for literally months, y'all are the real mvps
> 
> -this is my first ever completed fic, so pls bc nice to me
> 
> -this story is very VERY extremely loosely based on a true event from my life. (one of my best friends in high school made cookies in his jewish youth group with their jizz, and then he brought them to school and gave them to people he didn't like. i was one of like maybe 4 people who knew what was going on. it was a wild time, and now this friend is known to my more recent friends as "the jizz cookie guy." there are many other weird stories involving this friend that he could have been nicknamed for, but this is apparently the most common and memorable story, so there we are. (i also feel the need to add that i do not condone this action in any way. pls do not feed your enemies jizz cookies without them knowing.))
> 
> -this fic was supposed to just be a very fast, one-off, but i was i was surprised by how weird blow jobs are once you actually start writing them yourself, and then it got weird and took Way Longer to finish than initially expected
> 
> -some editorial comments include:  
> the yackety sack: mitch marner, seductively talks about almost burning down the kitchen to convince his boyf to let him suck his dick to make cookies
> 
> it sme,: the worst part is that dyl's totally into it
> 
> the yackety sack: these boys deserve each other
> 
> -dylan being a baker is very much inspired by "maybe it's much too early in the game" by blamefincham and thistidalwave because the idea of dylan being good at cooking/baking makes me Feel Things (I may be working on a bakery au for this exact reason. write the fic you wish to see in the world?)
> 
> -also, the natural harvest cookbook is very much a real thing, and there are pdf versions online if you google it. so if you're into cooking with jizz, there you go? there's not a cookie recipe in it, though, so idk where my friend found the recipe, and i'm not gonna ask


End file.
